As the biggest date in the UK music calendar approaches, pop fans everywhere will no doubt be clamouring to get their hands on front row seats for the 2009 BRIT Awards. Won’t they?
“The BRITs is so huge. Every time I think about it I feel a bit sick,” said a nervous Mathew Horne of his presenting duties alongside comedy partner James Corden and pop princess Kylie Minogue.
However, with a line-up including U2, Take That, Kings of Leon, Duffy and Girls Aloud - perhaps what promises to be an amazing night of entertainment will be worth a potential vomit drenching from the queasy ‘Gavin and Stacey’ star.
Looking back over its 32 years a nauseous host would rank pretty low on the list of the most ridiculous things that have happened during the prestigious ceremony.
Perhaps the most notable incident involved the now reclusive singer Robbie Williams challenging Liam Gallagher to a fight during the 2000 show, after an ongoing feud between the former Take That singer and Oasis stars Liam and his brother Noel (Noel infamously referred to Robbie as “the fat dancer from Take That”).
Robbie - holder of the highest number of BRITs at 11 - asked the crowd: “So, anybody like to see me fight Liam? Would you pay to come and see it? Liam, a hundred grand of your money and a hundred grand of my money.”
“We’ll get in a ring and we’ll have a fight and you can all watch it on TV, what d’you think about that?”
Fortunately, Liam was touring with Oasis at the time.
During the same disastrous show, DJ Brandon Block was told by his friends he had won an award and, while blind drunk, staggered proudly onto to the stage where Rolling Stones legend Ronnie Wood and ‘American Beauty’ actress Thora Birch were preparing to present an award.
After Ronnie threw his drink over stage-crasher Brandon, a shouting match ensued – during which the pair felt it necessary to lean into the microphone for all to hear them turn the air blue.
“Nicest bloke I ever met,” Wood uttered after blaming Block for wasting his drink.
Block slurred back: “Thank you, you old b*****d.”
British MP John Prescott may be able to throw a few punches when political activists take things too far (he once took a swing at a protestor who threw an egg at him), but he got more than he bargained for when he tried to show how rock ‘n’ roll he was by attending the 1998 awards.
One hit wonders Chumbawumba were so displeased with the Labour politician’s presence they threw a bucket of ice water over him.
Despite the group’s label issuing an apology over the incident, the unrepentant band said: “If John Prescott has the nerve to turn up at events like the BRIT Awards in a vain attempt to make Labour seem cool and trendy, then he deserves all we can throw at him.”
The prize for Sauciest BRIT Awards Moment surely goes to former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, who shocked grandparents everywhere with her underwear-revealing Union Jack dress, which was homemade by sewing a tea towel on the front. It later fetched a record £41,320 when it was sold to Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas at auction.
Other notable headline grabbing moments include Jarvis Cocker crashing the stage in protest of Michael Jackson’s performance in 1996, Russell Brand unleashing the kind of controversy only he knows how by making tasteless jokes about Queen Elizabeth and the Iraq war in 2007, as well as Sharon Osbourne branding Vic Reeves a “p**sed b*****d” on stage last year.
Needless to say, organisers have made every attempt to restrict the amount of pre-awards drinking in recent years.
The BRIT Awards 2009 looks set to be a far more prestigious event (as long as rumours they are planning to ask troublemakers Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand to hand over an award aren’t true…)
BRIT bosses have pulled out all the stops by securing Kylie, the highest profile star to front the event since Elton John in 1994, to co-host and a live performance from “best band in the world” U2.
Coldplay and Duffy look set to dominate the awards with four nominations each while the Pet Shop Boys are being honoured with the Outstanding Contribution to Music prize – an accolade previously awarded to music legends Tom Jones, Oasis and last year, Sir Paul McCartney – before they reportedly join The Killers on stage to close the show.
Not only that, it seems Lily Allen has something very special up her sleeve to make the 2009 Brit Awards one to remember.
“I had this idea for the Brit Awards which I thought would be really funny,” mused ‘The Fear’ singer. “If we had me, Amy Winehouse, Duffy, Adele and Lady Sovereign all dressed up as the Spice Girls and do ‘Wannabe’.”
“I would be Posh, Adele would be Ginger, Amy would be Scary, Duffy would be Baby, and Sporty Spice would be Lady Sovereign.”
Not only does this year’s event boast an incredible selection of talent to entertain viewers, a potential romance between two of the show’s presenters is sure to keep everyone watching.
“If I’d s****ed Kylie everyone would know about it. Everyone!” Horne insisted of his rumoured relationship with the ‘Spinning Around’ singer. “I would have a T-shirt and tattoo telling them. Of course nothing happened - she’s Kylie!”
Maybe not romance then, but the upcoming ceremony does boast the oldest ever nominee in BRITs history – 68-year-old Seasick Steve, who is up for the Best International Male gong.
“I didn’t even know what the Brits was,” admitted the confused former tramp. “My record label had to explain it to me. I thought they were joking.”
“I said they were full of s**t. There ain’t no snowball’s chance in hell that I’ll win. I’m up against superstars.”
“All I want to know is whether they have food there and if there’s any booze.”
Judging from previous years, the BRIT Awards 2009 with MasterCard – which will be held at London’s Earls Court on February 18 and televised on ITV 1 - will undoubtedly feature “booze”, something which should go someway to calming Horne’s nerves on the night.
Or at the very least provide an exciting front page the following morning.
BANG Showbiz January 30th 2009
Words: Josh Saxon
For the full list of 2009 nominees click here .
